I am a university graduate (journalist major) and have successfully pursued a career in freelance journalism for several years now. Of the many writing assignments I’ve completed, this particular assignment is very much self-created and non- compensating. I have taken it upon myself to write about an avoidable experience I had on my wedding day, with the hope that others might learn from my major mistake. In 2003, after reading a wedding magazine, I relied upon a fellow journalist's suggestion to cut some corners and save some money by having a friend supply music for my upcoming wedding. My fiancé, Ron, had a friend from work who did some DJing on the side. Initially I eagerly accepted the too-good-to-be-true offer of free music, and proceeded to secure all of the other necessary vendors needed to turn my wedding dream into reality. I felt secure in knowing that Scott (my fiancé’s friend) would have the music well in hand. Although I had never met him, I felt reassured since he was Ron’s long time associate.

Bad Vibe

Looking back on my experience, I can see now that there were many warning flags. I had repeatedly suggested to Ron that we meet with Scott to go over the music and other things that I thought a DJ might want to prepare for. Ron assured me that Scott would easily be able to handle the music on the day of the wedding. I reluctantly agreed not to meet with him. Scott did suggest that I prepare a song list of the type of music that I would want for dancing, including the first dance song. I prepared this list and gave it to Ron approximately one month before my wedding date. 

As the date drew near I became more and more concerned. Here I was, planning my wedding at an exclusive country club, with more than two hundred guests expected to attend, and I had no real contact with this DJ, let alone any real idea of how the day might develop musically. Ron dismissed my concern as a typical “emotional bride’ worrying about every detail before her wedding day. As I felt it important to let him me the "man” and handle this, I reluctantly kept my concerns to myself.

Introduction to... Horror

As the day approached, I managed to resign myself to the idea that the day would unfold regardless of my concern, and everything would be okay. I suppose I figured "What’s the worst that could happen, right? My worst fears would soon be realized. 

The wedding was beautiful and the ride to the country club was a party in and of itself. All the while I was unaware of the drama that was unfolding between the banquet manager, Scott and my father. The banquet manager and Scott were at odds—apparently any Mobile DJ / Entertainer must have liability insurance. The fiasco that unfolded was uncomfortable, to say the least. My father had to eventually lay down his credit card as a sort of security deposit in the event any equipment damaged any door frames, hardwood floors, carpet, or other facility equipment, Needless to say, my dad was not very pleased. 

My first glimpse of Scott was through the front door of the facility while awaiting our formal introduction. He was a scruff looking, unshaven guy wearing a Detroit Pistons jersey. He proceeded to introduce the bridal party in a slipshod manner, stumbling over several names, while mispronouncing my bridesmaid’s name! He made sure to add, "Well, I’m sure she’s used to people screwing up her name!" Unbelievable! By the time he got to the bride and groom, I was expecting the worst. Although he got the names right, he didn’t say ’Mr. and Mrs.' but only "Lisa and Ron Joyner." The remainder of the cocktail hour proceeded without incident, except for the inclusion of some hip-hop music, which was annoying.

Mangling Music, Breaking Hearts

The introduction to dinner was unrefined but at least uneventful. I hated the Kenny G music that played during dinner, but I was appreciative that in any case the hip-hop music had stopped. It seemed like forever before the toasting and cake-cutting took place. I was beginning to sense that Ron was becoming increasingly irritated as he made several trips to see Scott after we had finished our meal. I would soon find out exactly what had Ron so upset. 

As it was time for the first dance, Scott called us both out to the dance floor. To my surprise and horror, be played the wrong song. I was livid! Ron had found out about this just moments before, but simply held me close and asked me to just let it go! Since then, I think his way of trying to makeup for it has been to praise me up and down for being such a wonderful wife and telling me that he will never question my judgment again! Apparently, Scott did not even have our first dance song; but worse yet, he had never bothered to tell Ron until just minutes before the first dance. Ron admitted what a mistake it was to have Scott as the DJ. Yes, this was comforting—but I was still livid! 

After our wrong first dance song, Scott went right into the dancing portion of the evening without giving any thought to the father/daughter dance or parents’ dance songs (which we had included in our song list). By this point, I just figured he wouldn’t have the right songs anyway, so what was the point. I felt more badly for my father, who never got recognized by dancing with me for an official father/daughter dance. When another slow song came on, I went over to my dad and simply danced with him and explained the situation to him. 

The remainder of the evening was a mixed bag of hip-hop songs and disco. I never heard any of the county, classic rock, or oldies songs I requested. The space between the songs killed what little of a dance situation ever got going, and many guests left after about the first hour of dancing. The funny thing is, nobody immediately complained about the DJ. At least not in front of me. I heard many complaints from close family and friends, after the fact. While trying to tune him out throughout the party, I hadn’t even noticed his self-invited girlfriend, or the fact that she was bringing him beer throughout the night. 

All in all, my perfectly planned wedding was a musical disaster. I wanted my wedding to be the most memorable party of all time for my family and friends. Instead, it turned into a nightmare of unprofessionalism, inappropriate music, mangled announcements, and unsatisfactory behavior by the DJ and his uninvited guest. In our case, "You get what you pay for” took on a whole new meaning.

Post-Disaster Research

You would think this would be the end of the story, but there really is so much more. As a journalist I am accustomed to researching content for stories. I began to wonder if I had been overreacting and I felt a need to see if other brides had actually had similar experiences. I decided to do some research, seeking out brides who had friends DJ their weddings. What I found was astonishing. 

By far the best place to research circumstances of this nature is the Internet. I visited many wedding sites and wedding-related chat boards, looking at the discussions from the angle of low-cost DJ entertainment used by brides who wanted to save money. Here are some comments from brides who had amazing stories to tell when asked about "friends" who performed at their recent weddings:

• “We paid $1,200 for an ice sculpture and had a family friend DJ our wedding. The ice sculpture eventually melted and our so-called friend never showed up. Had it not been for a DJ wrapping up a party in the adjacent room (who we hired on the spot), we would have had no music at all!”

• “We had a friend-of-a-friend DJ our wedding for $250. He was late and had equipment problems. In hindsight we should have done the same thing we did with our photographer and caterer—hire a professional!”

• “My cousin was suppose to DJ at my wedding. I think he would have done a great job lf he hadn’t ’flaked out’ on us at the last minute. He decided to go to the Warp Tour concert instead. We had to scramble, but eventually found a professional DJ. We had a great wedding after all."

• “We decided to save some money and hook up an iPod through a speaker system. A lot of people complained about not being able to make requests, and the iPod kept re-cuing itself or something. My husband had to keep going over to fix it. It was embarrassing. And we forgot all about a microphone for announcements. We winged it!”

• “A friend turned us on to this guy who was half the price of DJs out of the phone book. We thought this was great! The only problem was he would never return our calls. About two weeks before our wedding, his cell phone was no longer working. We had to hire another company, and lost $100 on the first guy whom we have still never heard from!”

• “We had my friend from school DJ our wedding. He was always a great guy and still is, but I never saw him DJ before. I just figured if he’s nice and dependable, that’s probably good enough. The music and announcements were very poor. There were many complaints. It would have been better if I would have seen him perform first!”

• "Oh my God! Our DJ was the worst. He was a friend of my maid of honor. She said he was good so I hired him. Though the music was decent, everybody hated him, and he was obnoxious and rude on the microphone. I guess he thought his jokes were funny, but this was MY wedding! My husband asked him to stop talking. We should have hired the DJ my sister had at her wedding. He was very professional!’

• “A friend told us about this guy who deejayed on the side. He was a fraction of the cost of other companies. We found out why when he started hitting on all the single girls during the bridal bouquet toss. He did many inappropriate things that were completely embarrassing. We learned our lesson. Unfortunately, we can’t go back and do it again the right way!”

• “You want to find out who your friends really are? Have them DJ your wedding! Ours was a no-show!”

• “I was forewarned about hiring friends to handle important matters at my wedding. I really didn’t think the music was a big deal. It was one of those things that I thought just kind of took care of itself. My friend was nice but was clueless about announcements and activities. He didn’t have a lot of music either. My wedding was great... my DJ was just so-so!” “Friends don’t let friends DJ their weddings! Ours was drunk the whole time. At the time, we figured, we couldn’t tell him to stay away from the bar—after all, we’re not paying him! We still haven’t spoken since the wedding. There’s definitely some tension there!’

• “We didn’t budget for a DJ so a family friend did It for us as a wedding present. There were a lot of problems with the music and not many people danced. If I had to do it all over again, I would definitely budget for a DJ."

I have learned a valuable lesson through my experience. Hire a professional DJ if you have the opportunity to do so. The service that he or she provides is every bit as valuable to the successful outcome of your party as is the photographer, the food and the facility itself. Having a "friend" take on the great responsibility of announcements and music, let alone interacting with the guests and creating a fun-filled, dance-friendly atmosphere, it is a tall order if they're not well versed in this line of work. Save your friendships and your wedding day by hiring a professional mobile entertainer: someone who truly knows how to make your party unforgettable—in the most positive, magical way.

"Lisa Riley-Joyner" is a fictional writer created for the purpose of this article.
Mobile Beat Magazine ~ June/July 2006 Page 36

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