successful Wedding Reception requires a lot of careful thought
and planning. Coordination of your hall, entertainment, caterer, photographer
and video service will be easier if you know where problems usually occur and
make advanced provisions that will prevent them from happening ! Hiring top
notch professionals will also help assure a successful day.
The
following tips and suggestions are based on my personal experience as an
entertainer at over 1,000 weddings over many years. Other professionals
involved with your reception will probably also have suggestions to help you.
Listen to everyone, digest it all and then remember that it is your wedding
reception and the final decision in any matter should be yours.
Budget
and Priorities
Ask
most people to name the two most important factors that contribute to a
successful reception and they will probably say "good food and good
music". But a year or two later, long after your guests have forgotten
what they had to eat, they will still remember great entertainment and how
much fun they had. We feel our agency motto says it all: "The Music Makes
Or Breaks the Wedding". Surprisingly, some people spend more of their
wedding budget on exotic floral centerpieces or on a huge wedding cake than
they do for their entertainment. A pre-meal cheese & crackers table with
assorted vegetables and dip can actually cost you more than your Disc Jockey.
When was the last time you heard guests leaving a function hall raving that
the veggie platter really "made" the party ?
Every
wedding reception must start with a budget. Large or small, lavish or modest,
we all want the very best we can get for the amount we plan to spend. Once you
have a total budget in mind, you really have to decide what your budget
priorities are going to be. If food is going to be the main focus of the
reception, then don't go overboard on costly extras like a full open bar, a
towering ice sculpture or custom made favors for each and every guest. If the
entertainment is most important to you, why not plan a four course meal
instead of five courses. You may be able to upgrade to a better Band or DJ if
you don't spend too much of your budget on extra frills like 2 bottles of wine
on every table, baskets in the rest rooms or an expensive dessert table. In
the ideal fantasy world, money is no object. For everyone else it is wise to
invest more of your budget on those things that are more important to you. In
the end, the budget priorities you set at the very start of your planning will
determine the ultimate outcome of your reception.
Location,
Location, Location
I
have seen many clients painstakingly select a historic old mansion, impressive
museum or a charming little restaurant with an adjoining pub for their
function. Great choices for atmosphere, but once again, questions must be
asked. "Is there ample parking for all of my guests?", "Is
there a large enough dance floor and how close is it to the set-up area for
the Band or DJ ?", "Can my entertainment gain access to the facility
to set up in advance of the rental time?", "Is there sufficient
power for a full band or will older "historic" circuitry cause blown
fuses and power outages?", "Is there air conditioning or adequate
heat and enough rest rooms for the comfort of my guests?", "Will all
of my guests be able to see and hear the entertainment, or will some guests be
alienated in separate rooms (or even on separate floors), away from important
announcements and the music?" An adjacent pub or a bar located in another
room will split your guests into groups and may ruin an otherwise cohesive
function. Diverting too many guests from the main room usually means the dance
floor will suffer. Borderline dancers who might have otherwise been inspired
to dance due to a packed dance floor may decide to call it an early night.
Good entertainment only needs an audience, and the full potential of any show
is always better with a packed house. An audience that has another place to
congregate can divide (and conquer your function).
Setting
Up
After
the head table, the most important "location" choice should involve
your music. Many halls and function facilities have a stage for your
entertainment but then again, others do not. Keep in mind that your
entertainment is a very important part of your reception and should not be
hidden in a corner of the room or behind a column. Ideally, your Band or DJ
should be located in front of the dance floor in the center of the room. This
enables all guests to see and hear the show equally. Some halls do not
consider this factor and arbitrarily place the music at the far end of the
room, away from the dance floor and surrounded by tables of guests while a
gift table or ice sculpture is placed in a better location! Needless to say,
to reach your guests on the dance floor from across the room, the music at
such an undesirable location would be quite loud for those guests at tables
nearby. If such a set-up is unavoidable, a small stage or platform to raise
the entertainment above ground level will help with both visibility and
acoustics. A good function hall will work with you and change from their usual
set-up practices if you bring these factors to their attention.
Seating
Advice
Another
important decision involves your reception's seating arrangement. Try to
arrange your tables so that older guests are not right next to the music. The
volume that is necessary to adequately cover a large room may be too loud at
the source for older guests when they have been seated right next to the
speakers. Younger guests are usually not upset by the music being nearby.
Bridal
Dance
The
Bride & Groom's first dance is a special moment during the reception.
Experience has shown that the best time for this dance is early in the
function. Since the song usually lasts only about three or four minutes, many
couples schedule their dance before the meal, when the bridal party still
looks its best. The ideal time is immediately after the introduction of the
Bride & Groom. By dancing at beginning of the function, the Bride &
Groom are graciously opening the dance floor to all their guests for the rest
of the reception. This can be quite important during a lengthy meal (see
below). "Bride/Dad" and "Groom/Mom" dances may be saved
until after the meal is completed.
Music
and the Meal
During
dinner, the right music played at a comfortable volume level can make a good
meal even more enjoyable. All caterers, country clubs, hotels, restaurants and
function facilities are concerned with basically the same thing: serving you
and your guests a good hot meal. Ask your caterer how long they think the meal
itself will last. This will depend on the number of courses, the number of
people at your reception and the efficiency of the service. While it is
difficult to predict an exact time due to all the variables, the average meal
at a wedding reception usually lasts about 11/2 to 2 hours. I have seen many a
reception nearly ruined by a 3+ hour meal that leaves little or no time for
dancing afterwards. One good way to save the day is to allow guests to dance
in-between dinner courses. It can make a long, drawn-out, multi-course meal
pass more quickly and also "warms up" the audience for the faster
dancing to follow. A good band or DJ is always aware of which course is being
served, eaten or cleared. If your guests are up dancing between courses and
the next course comes out from the kitchen, they will announce to the audience
that the next course is being served, and allow those on the dance floor to
sit down and eat. This helps your caterer in two ways: 1) the meal is not
prolonged by the music and 2) guests dancing between courses will not sit
around wondering why the next course is taking so long. Some function managers
discourage or even forbid dancing during the meal because of repeated bad
experiences with amateur DJs or bands playing fast dance music during dinner
and keeping guests from their food. When you consider that this means you and
your guests may have to endure up to 2 hours of humdrum background music, such
an inflexible hall policy is not in the best interest of your function. The
best compromise is for the band or DJ to play a nice mixture of "easy
listening" danceable dinner music during the preliminary courses and
then, as soon as the main course is served, announce the main course to the
audience and then play some soft background music so that any dancers will
then return to their tables with everyone else to enjoy the main course. This
is an ideal time for your band or DJ to take their dinner break, since nobody
will be dancing until after the main course is through.
Keeping
Them Dancing
There
is nothing more pleasing to a bride and groom than to see all of their guests
on the dance floor enjoying themselves. Make no mistake, this is also the main
goal of your entertainment. Here are some tips for planning in advance that
can help with this vital aspect of your wedding reception:
1)
If more than 2 or 3 small children will be attending your reception, their
typical innocent activities (i.e.: running around, jumping and sliding
unsupervised on the dance floor) will inhibit guests from dancing for fear of
hurting these little ones. Check to see if your function facility's
photography room (or any other separate area) is available to you during your
reception. Find a reliable caretaker to watch the kids, supervise their meal
and then entertain them with stories, coloring, games and activities during
your reception. This also gives their parents a chance to enjoy the reception
knowing their children are safe and well cared for. Meanwhile, you are saving
the dance floor exclusively for the dancers.
2)
The Bridal party and their immediate families are the "heart and
soul" of any wedding reception. If the bar is located far from the dance
floor, in the next room or in the foyer of a hotel, sometimes (even before the
meal is over) the groom and all the ushers will congregate there, away from
the main reception area. Bridesmaids without dance partners end up sitting
together or roaming from table to table. At other times, the bride and groom,
the bridal party or various family members are all called outside the room for
additional photographs or video interviews, during the main dance set after
the meal. Remember: without the true focal point of the reception (the bridal
party and their immediate families) the dance floor will suffer. Difficulty in
locating key members of the bridal party during the reception will also delay
important pre-planned announcements and events such as bridal party or parent
dances, garter & bouquet ceremonies. Keep this in mind if your function
facility gives you an option as to whether to put a mobile bar inside or
outside of your main function room. Guests and members of the bridal party who
are not in the room cannot participate.
3)
Some photographers or videographers offer a "This Is Your Life: Bride
& Groom" type of slide or video presentation that I have seen
actually shown on the dance floor in the middle of the reception. When you
consider the show's set-up and breakdown time, a "twenty minute"
trip down memory lane can kill an hour of dance time while your paid
entertainment sits and waits.
4)
Over-planning your music can also hinder dancing at the reception. A well-
meaning couple who provide a long list of all their own favorite songs in
advance unwittingly eliminate the musical flexibility needed at a wedding
reception, especially if the audience doesn't respond to some of the songs on
the list. An experienced music professional will know how to blend different
styles of music to include the client's requests, their own "can't
miss" choices and the best of the requests from your guests to keep the
dance floor full and include all age groups. Have confidence in your
entertainment.... if they have played at hundreds or even thousands of other
successful receptions they are best qualified to select a perfect musical
mixture from all of the suggestions they receive.
Lighting
& Atmosphere
The
musical entertainment you choose for your wedding reception has the
responsibility of "getting the crowd going". In other words, making
sure that everyone in the audience is being entertained, dances and has fun.
This job is much more difficult when the room's lights are too bright. Time
and time again I have seen the number of people on the dance floor increase
just as soon as the lights are dimmed to a lower level. Light dimmer switches
are sometimes controlled by a bartender or manager who may not realize how
important the atmosphere is to the success of your function. Other factors can
effect the level of lighting as well. A well-meaning guest or relative with a
home video camera may keep requesting that the lights be turned up so that he
or she can get a better picture. Good professional photographers and
videographers usually have portable lights that go where their cameras go.
Depending on their equipment, the house lights can usually still be dimmed
without effecting the quality of their work. Unfortunately, if the lights do
go up too much, there may be nobody left on the dance floor to film! You have
to decide what is most important to you and try to address these possible
areas of conflict in advance by leaving explicit lighting instructions with
the function manager.
General
Information
Each
function facility has its own special "set" way of doing things at a
Wedding Reception. Each one will also tell you that their way is the right
way. If they provide you with forms for the names of your bridal party, make
sure that all the information you send to both the function hall and your
entertainment has the same couple-pairings and is in the same order. Some
halls or caterers will pressure you into having your receiving line after the
meal in the middle of your reception (which, of course, disrupts the dancing).
Isn't it wiser to greet all your guests earlier, either at the church or
(after formal pictures) at the start of the reception, before the meal. Simply
schedule the meal a little later and then allow the function to flow
continuously from dinner to dancing.
If
the wedding cake is being served for dessert it should be cut just before or
after the first dance. If it is to be wrapped and put out later in the
function it can be cut right after the main course, just prior to the bride's
dance with her father and groom's dance with his mother (if applicable). The
garter and bouquet ceremonies are usually done roughly 1 hour before the
scheduled end of the reception, but this is flexible too. Remember...its your
wedding, so you decide what is best for your needs.
True
professionals will always be willing to accommodate your wishes.
A
Happy Ending
If
the Bride & Groom plan to change clothes before doing their "Going
Away Dance", they should pre-determine how long this will take and then
plan to be completely changed and ready to be re-introduced 15 minutes before
the end. This will allow enough time for a good-bye circle and big send-off by
all of your guests. Keep in mind if yours is a Saturday afternoon reception,
most entertainers and function facilities are probably under contract for
another party that night and cannot stay overtime if you are not back from
changing before the scheduled end of your reception. Arriving late from
changing may mean cutting short your own "good-byes"! Excluding
Saturday afternoons, when a successful wedding reception approaches the end,
quite often the question of overtime arises. Unfortunately, once in a while
the band or DJ says "yes" but the hall says "no". I have
seen halls agree to an overtime hour only if the bar closes first (liquor
liability). To be safe, make sure you know the function facility's overtime
policy, price and time limits on the bar, if any. It is also a good idea to
find out in advance the overtime rates of all the other professionals involved
in your reception. This will help avoid any misunderstandings if things are
really going well and you decide to keep things rolling for another hour.
The
time to let your entertainment know you want an extra hour is about 40 minutes
before the regular scheduled ending time. The reason that this is so important
is that most good bands and DJs try to build their musical performance to a
peak toward the end of the night. Its really quite anti- climactic to drive a
fully packed dance floor into a frenzied finale (with "Shout" for
instance) then say good night, only to come back and play again for another
hour. Some bridal couples who book an extra hour decide to go ahead with their
"Going Away Dance" as it was originally planned (15 minutes before
the overtime hour begins), so that they are then free to have fun and dance in
less formal clothes for the final hour. This is also a good idea since older
guests may not stay for the final overtime hour, and this way they will still
be included in the good-bye circle of guests on your video.
It
may seem like an awful lot of work, but careful planning and organization will
help to make your wedding reception everything you dreamed it would be. I hope
that this information makes it a little easier.
